


Sweet Sapphics and Bisexual Babes

by laallomri



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Rating for Language, adrien is the grandpa friend, alyanette - Freeform, foiled wingmanning, for convenience's sake, literally no angst cause I'm tired of wlw always suffering, nino is on charles boyle levels of shipping, oh also nino and alya know that they're ladybug and chat noir, read and u will find out, what does that mean, wlwoc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2019-01-01 02:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12146277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laallomri/pseuds/laallomri
Summary: Nino? more like Ni-BRO:MARINETTE LIKES HERSHE LIKES ALYATWO OF MY BEST BUDS ARE /IN LOVE/AKLSKLASTHIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFEAdrien:Can you calm downNino? more like Ni-BRO:HOW CAN I BE CALM BROWE ARE WITNESSING THE BEGINNING OF A ROMANCEMarinette has a crush on Alya, Alya (probably) has a crush on Marinette, Nino has a crush on the cuteness of their interactions, and Adrien just wants to have two seconds of peace.





	Sweet Sapphics and Bisexual Babes

**Author's Note:**

> ML tumblr: laallomri
> 
> come yell with me about how cute these kiddos are
> 
> I'm probably going to continue this cause wingman!nino is too much fun to write

Alya is sixteen when everyone is her friend group comes out as bisexual. Sort of.

Alya is first, though she never actually comes out officially. Which is fine with her, because the concept of coming out kind of stresses her out (and, says the reporter in her, puts a spotlight on her that she’d rather direct onto somebody else). 

Besides, isn’t it obvious? Have people _seen_ the way she dresses? What straight person dresses like this?

(Well, maybe lumberjacks, but considering that Alya literally drew her powers from wifi signals when she was akumatized, she is the furthest thing from a lumberjack.)

People still occasionally get confused, but it’s mostly just funny, like the time when an old woman called Rose and Juleka “such nice friends” when she saw them holding hands during a class trip to the Louvre.

But anyway, Alya is bisexual, and seeing as she pretty much lives in flannel and talks constantly about making out with both Leïla Bekhti’s and John Boyega’s faces, her friends think it’s pretty obvious.

.^.

Nino is next, and in true Nino fashion he is uber casual about it.

“I think I’m gonna ask Nathanaël to the winter ball,” he says one morning as they take their seats in their classroom. “I mean, since my parents now know that I’m bi and they’re cool with it, there’s no worries on that front.”

Alya, Adrien, and Marinette all blink at him, and then Alya beams and Adrien claps him on the back. Marinette squeals excitedly and asks if he’s come up with a way to ask him and if he hasn’t can she _please_ help because she is _bursting_ with cute ideas to ask someone to a dance—

“’course you can help, Mari,” Nino says, grinning. “I was kind of hoping you would! I want to incorporate music somehow but I don’t want to do anything too public ’cause it might embarrass him…”

(Nathanaël says yes, blushing so brightly his face matches his hair, and he and Nino make a very handsome couple at the ball.)

.^.

Adrien comes out in exactly the way anyone would expect him to.

“Hey guys, guess what?” he says, stopping in the middle of pacing around his room so he can stand in front of the bed and throw out his arms, jazz hands style. “Every time I leave I’m a walking pun! Because I’m _bye_ -sexual!”

“No,” says Plagg from his perch on the pillow, licking camembert off his tiny paws.

“Okay.” Adrien paces for a minute, then stops and does the jazz hands again. “I guess it’s gonna be hard for me to pick what gender I like best, because I’m _bi_ -ased.”

“Stop,” says Plagg.

Adrien ignores him and repeats his pace-stop-jazz hands routine.

“This line that divides the angle in two is just like me, ’cause it’s a _bi_ -sector—”

“How would you even use that one organically?” Plagg interrupts.

Adrien shrugs. “Geometry class?”

Plagg rolls his eyes. “Why can’t you just tell them?”

“Because!” Adrien resumes his pacing. “Between being Chat Noir and being bisexual, I should be a master of puns! A punnoisseur, if you will—”

“That was a reach,” Plagg mutters.

“—and it would be betraying my soul, my very _essence_ if I don’t pun when I come out!”

He spends another hour coming up with increasingly more ridiculous puns, but in the end, he goes for the basics.

“See you all tomorrow!” Nino says as the four part ways after school.

“Later!” Alya says.

“See ya!” says Marinette.

“Bye!” says Adrien, then grins and does finger guns. “Get it? ’Cause I’m bi.”

The others look at him in silence for a moment, taken aback, and then Alya cackles, Nino whoops, and Marinette groans.

(“Not because you’re bi!” she assures him hastily. “Because of the pun.”

(“You should be grateful he went with this one,” Plagg tells her, poking his head out from Adrien’s overshirt. “He wanted to try to incorporate a cat pun too.”

“I still might,” Adrien warns. “I came up with so many good ones that it’d be a shame not to use them all. I’m _feline_ so good about this that I might do a coming out pun every day.”

Marinette just groans again.)

.^.

Marinette is last.

“I think I’m bisexual too,” she says suddenly one day after school, as they’re waiting with Adrien for the Gorilla to pick him up. When she says it she gives Alya a strange, furtive look, though no one sees it but Adrien. His brow furrows, but he can’t quite figure out what her expression means right now, so he files it away to contemplate later.

“Sweet,” Nino says, as Adrien gives her a high five and Alya hugs her.

“Now you’re not just my babe,” she says. “You’re my bisexual babe.”

“Rude,” says Nino. “What about us?”

“You’re my bisexual bro,” Alya explains, very seriously, “and Adrien is my bisexual buddy.”

“This appears to be a very specific cataloguing system,” Adrien says.

“It is,” Alya agrees. “I have spent years formulating a careful and scientific process of categorizing my bisexual friends.”

“A-Actually,” Marinette says hesitantly, “it’s possible I might be a lesbian. I haven’t figured out if my past crushes on boys were real or, you know, me thinking that I _had_ to like boys. But I wanted to tell you all anyway.”

“No problem, babe,” Alya says, slinging an arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek. Marinette blushes, and something about that strikes Adrien as important, though he still can’t quite tell why. “You don’t have to know right away! And if you figure out you’re a lesbian you can be my lesbian ladybug.”

Marinette giggles. There’s an accompanying giggle from within her purse. “That nickname is kind of lazy.”

“Says the girl who has yet to wake up on time for school for more than two days in a row.”

Nino and Adrien laugh, Tikki giggles again from within the purse, and Marinette pouts.

.^.

“My sweet sapphic,” Alya announces the next day, lifting her head from her laptop to look at Marinette.

She, Nino, and Adrien all blink. They’re sprawled on the floor in the Dupain-Chengs’ living room, doing (or pretending to do while actually working on the Ladyblog, in Alya’s case) their homework. The window is open to let in the May breeze, which rustles their papers and textbook pages. Tikki and Plagg act as paperweights, napping together on the chart the group needs for their chemistry set.

“Uh—what?” Nino asks.

“I was trying to think of something that wouldn’t put a label on you,” Alya says to Marinette, “and I’ve got it. You are my sweet sapphic.”

Marinette blushes. “You didn’t have to go to all that trouble, Alya.”

“Of course I did, girl! You’re my sweet sapphic, I want you to be comfortable.”

As Alya speaks she stretches, rolling her back and twisting her sides to relieve the stiffness from hunching over her laptop for the better part of an hour. Marinette watches her, eyes wide, then she swallows, blushes even harder, and looks down at her textbook.

“Th-thanks, Alya.”

Adrien isn’t sure if it’s the blush, or the stare, or the stammer, but suddenly Marinette’s behavior clicks. He looks over at Nino and sees that he’s looking between the girls with a goofy delighted grin on his face. Adrien elbows him and he starts, turning to meet his gaze.

“Don’t be so obvious,” Adrien mouths.

Nino nods and takes out his phone, pretending to check his messages. A few seconds later Adrien’s phone buzzes.

 **Nino? more like Ni-BRO:**  
MARINETTE LIKES HER  
SHE LIKES ALYA  
TWO OF MY BEST BUDS ARE /IN LOVE/  
AKLSKLAS  
THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 **Adrien:**  
Can you calm down

 **Nino? more like Ni-BRO:**  
HOW CAN I BE CALM BRO  
WE ARE WITNESSING THE BEGINNING OF A ROMANCE

 **Adrien:**  
A romance that you will scare into nothingness if you don’t CALM TF DOWN

 **Nino? more like Ni-BRO:**  
shit u right  
Marinette scares easy af  
I gotta be cool about this  
*activating ULTIMATE WINGMAN MODE*

 **Adrien:**  
Nino no

 **Nino? more like Ni-BRO:**  
NINO YES

 **Adrien:**  
Nino seriously what are you planning

Nino sticks his phone back in his pocket, ignoring the stink eye Adrien is giving him.

“So,” he says, so blatantly casual that Adrien has to resist the urge to facepalm, “you girls wanna go out and get something to eat, maybe some ice cream or something? I’m starving.”

Alya perks up immediately. “Ooh, there’s a new ice cream place by the park! We could go there.”

Marinette and Adrien agree, so they pack up their homework and head outside.

.^.

The ice cream shop is a disaster.

There’s an akuma attack at a store on the other side of the city (apparently the cashier told a middle-aged mom with blond highlights that she couldn’t combine two fifty percent off coupons to get a Live Laugh Love sign for free, and aforementioned middle-aged, blond-highlighted mom was now tearing through the streets in a suped-up minivan, screaming stuff like “CAN I SPEAK TO THE MANAGER” and “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT”), which means Marinette and Adrien have to bail only seconds after the group arrives at the shop, and Nino has to physically latch on to Alya’s arm to (try to) keep her from following.

“It’s an _akuma attack_ ,” he says, as Alya half drags, half marches him outside. They watch their friends transform behind a large tree (“be careful!” Nino shouts, and Chat Noir gives him a grin and his customary two-fingered salute) and Alya takes out her phone with her free hand to start planning the quickest route to the neighborhood where the akuma is. “Can’t you do what normal people do for once and stay safely away and inside?”

Alya considers for a moment. Nino lets go of her arm, watching her warily.

“No,” she says, and runs off.

Nino groans, looks longingly at the peaceful interior of the ice cream shop, then sprints after her.

.^.

The akuma is ridiculously easy to defeat. Evidently middle-aged, blond-highlighted moms get very distracted by the sight of a pack of free quinoa.

(“Looks like she got herself into a _starchy situation_ ,” Chat Noir says as he snatches the akumatized coupon and tears it.

After she purifies the akuma, Ladybug rolls her eyes. “That was a reach.”

He sticks out his tongue at her. “You’re just jealous of my _flour_ -y wit.”

“If your wit is flowery it must be full of weeds,” Ladybug deadpans, throwing the quinoa pack into the air.)

“Bien joué!” Ladybug and Chat Noir say together, beaming as they fist bump. Reporters swarm them within seconds, but they make their excuses and leap off onto the rooftops to return to their friends.

“Wait,” Ladybug says after a minute, screeching to a halt on the roof of a bank. “What are we thinking? Alya wouldn’t have waited at the ice cream shop. She’s probably back there in the crowd somewhere.”

Chat Noir looks over his shoulder at the throng of people below. “Yeah, I bet you’re right. And if she went then Nino went with her.”

Ladybug sighs and turns. “She’s so dumb,” she says, though her words are belied by the soft smile on her face. “Even the professional reporters wait until the attack is over.”

“Except for Nadja Chamack,” Chat Noir reminds her. They drop into an alley to transform and walk back into the crowd as civilians. “And seeing as she’s Alya’s hero, I’m not surprised she keeps running _into_ akuma attacks instead of _away_ from them.”

They walk out of the alley and after a few minutes of searching find Alya and Nino sitting on a bench and reviewing what she filmed.

“Look at all this awesome footage!” Alya exclaims, waving her phone excitedly. “The Ladyblog subscribers are gonna flip.”

“You really shouldn’t put yourself in danger like this for the blog,” Marinette says as she and Adrien sit beside them.

Alya makes an exasperated sound. “Come on, girl! When I first saw Ladybug I was way too enamored to _not_ follow her obsessively, and now that I know you’re her I’m basically contractually obligated to document all your hero work. I gotta record you in all your beautiful city-rescuing, red-spandex-wearing, black-pigtailed glory.”

Marinette reddens, Alya winks, Nino grins, and Adrien’s phone buzzes.

 **Nino? more like Ni-BRO:**  
dude  
DUDE  
ARE YOU SEEING THIS

 **Adrien:**  
Nino I am literally sitting right next to you. How could I possibly not see this

 **Nino? more like Ni-BRO:**  
AHHHHHHHH

 **Adrien:**  
Do you remember what I said about being calm

 **Nino? more like Ni-BRO:**  
HOW CAN I BE CALM WHEN OUR BEST FRIENDS ARE /IN LOVE/

Adrien resists the urge to roll his eyes and puts his phone back in his pocket.

.^.

Alya wants to go home right away to post her footage on the Ladyblog, and since it’s close to dinnertime the others decide to call it a day as well. Adrien calls the Gorilla, who agrees to make a quick detour to drop off Alya. Nino’s house is in the same direction as Marinette’s, so they walk back together.

“Sooooo…” he says after a minute, a wide grin stretching his face, “is there anything you wanna tell me, Mari?”

Marinette blinks up at him. “Uh—no?”

“Are you sure? ’Cause it seems like—” Nino’s phone buzzes. “Oh, wait, hang on.”

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
Are you interrogating Marinette? If so leave her alone

 **Nino:**  
listen,,  
I am trying to help our best buds find true love

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
They can do it just fine without you. Alya has spent this entire car ride gushing about the way Ladybug swung down from the roof of the library  
Aaaand now she’s making me help her pick a photo of Ladybug that “accentuates her freckles, because everyone has to see how cute they are”

 **Nino:**  
tell her Ladybug’s freckles are sexy, not cute  
cause she gets to imagine where else she’s got freckles

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
NINO

 **Nino:**  
WHAT  
AM I WRONG

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
That crossed a line buddy

 **Nino:**  
yeah ur right sorry dude  
I’m just excited for them thats all

“Who are you texting?” Marinette asks. “You look super intense about it.”

Nino hastily shoves his phone in his pocket. “It’s just Adrien.”

“Oh!” Marinette frowns. “But we just saw him. Is everything okay?”

“Yes! No! Yes! I mean—” Nino coughs and adjusts his hat. _Way to go, Lahiffe_. “It’s a personal thing. Don’t worry about it.”

Marinette just blinks.

“He’s—” Nino adjusts his hat again. “He’s helping me out with something. It’s not important.” He clears his throat. “Anyway! As I was saying—” His phone buzzes. “Sorry, hang on.”

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
We just dropped off Alya and right before she got out of the car she showed me the photo she’s gonna use and she said that in it Ladybug looks, and I quote, “hot as hell”

 **Nino:**  
FJKAJKDAL

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
Do you even remember what it is like to be calm

 **Nino:**  
YOU CAN’T GIVE ME INFO LIKE THAT AND EXPECT ME TO BE CALM BRO

Marinette leans over and tries to peek at Nino’s phone. “Is that Adrien again?”

Nino shoves his phone back in his pocket again. “No! Yes! It’s—he’s still helping me out with the thing.”

“Oh. It must be pretty important, then.”

“No. Yes. Sort of? Just—like I said, don’t worry about it.” He tugs on his hat. “Okay, so as I was saying—” His phone buzzes. “God dammit.”

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
link  
Look at this cat video I found

 **Nino:**  
BRO  
IM TRYING TO TALK TO MARI ABOUT ALYA  
STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
link  
link  
link  
Hey  
Nino  
Does  
This  
Annoy  
You

 **Nino:**  
S T O P

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
N  
E  
V  
E  
R

Nino growls and puts his phone away again, ignoring the constant buzzing.

“Um, is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” he grits out, scowling. “Adrien’s being a fucking nuisance as usual.”

Marinette gives him a curious look. “I thought he was helping you.”

“Yeah, he is helping me,” Nino agrees. “Helping me come up with reasons to murder him.”

Marinette giggles.

“ _Anyway_.” Nino takes a breath. “Mari—”

“Marinette!” Mrs Dupain-Cheng is standing in the door of the bakery, clucking her tongue at her daughter. “There you are, honey, I’ve been trying to call you for the past half hour! I didn’t know if you and your friends would be here for dinner.”

How are they already at the bakery? Had Nino really been texting Adrien the entire walk over?

“Oh!” Marinette checks her phone, abashed. “Sorry, maman, I guess my phone was on silent.” She looks up at Nino. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

He pauses his mental annihilation of Adrien long enough to plaster a smile on his face. “Thanks, but I should probably go home. See ya, Mari!”

Marinette waves and goes inside the bakery. Nino pulls out his phone once more and scrolls past the twenty seven pointless texts from Adrien.

 **Nino:**  
congrats bro  
u just killed true love

 **Grandpa Friend™:**  
They’ll be fine without your “””help””” We have known about Marinette’s crush for all of two hours. We should give her time to bring it up on her own. So LEAVE HER ALONE

 **Nino:**  
FINE MOM  
GOD  
YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING

He puts his phone away one more time, puts on his headphones, and listens to his goopiest music. Maybe he should make a mix for Marinette and Alya? If he played it enough around them maybe they’d succumb to the romance of it all and declare their undying love for each other…

He takes the long way home, scheming all the way.


End file.
